This coming Saturday night, Brian and I will stand in front of friends, acquaintances and strangers to tell the story of how God redeemed our marriage at an event at our church. I sit here now, a mere six days before, filled with nervous excitement and a bit terrified as I wait in anticipation. I feel like the Lord has revealed to us exactly what and how much He wants us to share as we are now finalizing and polishing, but I am also unnerved as I feel the attacks of Satan. That inner voice in my head telling me I don't have any business up on that stage. I feel him making me tired and edgy. I hear the darts telling me I will get up there and make a fool of myself, ironically with my rambling. You know what, he is right about one thing, I don't have any business up on that stage. . .that is, in my own power, but through the authority of God the Father and the blood of Christ, I am given the power to stand up and tell our story of grace. . .of restoration. . .of hope.
Our story has a beginning (young love), a middle, and what Satan wanted to be an end, but God has a bigger plan for us, and through Him, our marriage has been saved. I walk in that everyday, and I savor the grace and mercy that was bestowed upon me.
I will update more during the week. Asking for specific prayer requests and working through elements of our story in my own mind. It always helps me to write things out. Tonight, I remind myself that our story isn't about a fallen girl, it isn't about a wonderful man who perhaps grew complacent, it isn't about the power of either of them. . .our story is about a redeeming God. For without Him, nothing could be explained, including and especially the birth of our baby boy. I pray now for the people who will sit in the audience. Telling our story in our home church will be difficult, and I pray they receive our story with compassionate hearts. I pray it reaches everyone, no matter where they might be right now. I pray they hear what God has done, not what Brian or I have done. I pray they don't get bogged down by the details in a gossipy manner but rather they praise God for what He has brought us through. I pray for anyone who believes their marriage to be perfect, just as we did just four years ago, and I pray specifically for them, that they don't tune-us-out thinking, "that could never be me." That, my friends, can be the scariest place of all.
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